Today my Mom would have been 82. We would have taken her lunch, most likely KFC, a cake she would have said wasn't necessary, yet would have eaten every bit of the piece we gave her, then would have said in Southern disbelief, "82?! Lawww me!".
We would have bemoaned how close Auburn came to winning the Iron Bowl yesterday, then bid our farewells as the girls would need to get back on the road to school. I would have kissed the top of her head, told her we loved her, and she would have said, "I love you too. Thank ya'll so much for comin'".
And while I am so comforted knowing where she is spending this birthday, I sure do miss her.
Something in every single day makes me think of her. And I'm surprised by how often it hits me again that she's no longer here.
Seeing a roll of Necco's at the grocery store and starting to put them in my cart to hide around her room for her to find.
Seeing a warm little velour sweatsuit and automatically checking to see if they have an XS for her.
Dragging out my Christmas decorations this week and thinking, "I need to swing by her room and switch out her Fall decorations for Christmas...".
Don't even get me started on Christmas. Last year I cried so many times from anticipatory grief, decorating her little tree in her room, thinking it might be the last year.
This year I'm even more of a mess. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, I'll Be Home for Christmas, The First Noel, O Holy Night, Silent Night, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear...just (quite) a few of the songs that bring instant tears. Whether the lyrics get me, the memory of her singing them next to me in church, or just the familiar tunes reminding me of Christmases gone by that she made so special for us... cue the waterworks.
I know she'd say, "Girl, don't cry for me. I'm happy. I'm free of ailments. My mind is new and whole. I'm walking tall and upright. I'm with Mama and Daddy. I got to meet my 2 grandchildren we never got to hold. And, most of all, I'm with my Savior, whom I served my whole life, and longed to see face to face. And while I'm looking forward to seeing you again, your time hasn't come yet. You have a lot to do. Kids to finish raising, grandchildren of your own to meet, a husband to take care of. Soon, we'll be spending eternity together, but until then, quit makin' David do all the cookin'. He's a marvel."
There'll be more posts to come about my Mom. Some that make me laugh. And some that make me cry. Because I don't want to forget a single memory I have of her.
And in all my sadness of missing her here, I am so thankful she'll be home for Christmas.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I'll have David whip us up something tasty to celebrate.
