Ugh. The crying. The neverending, relentless, just when one child stops, anothers starts kind of crying. Double Ugh. Just one of those things that grates on my nerves until I'd rather choose to eat a whole onion than to listen to one more outburst.
And, yes, my little loved ones are already able to turn off and on their waterworks display at will. I am desperately trying to teach them alternative coping skills to deal with life's little frustrations. At the same time, trying not to squelch their sensitive personalities. Ironically, their mother is a crier. I cry when people hurt my feelings, when I've done something stupid, or when I'm watching a sweet commercial about a little girl giving her piano teacher a greeting card.
But come on people. How much pain is really caused as a result of being hit with a cotton ball? I find myself constantly saying things like, "Don't cry sweetheart", "Now, is that something we need to cry about?", "QUIET!!!!!".
And my kids can take a hit pretty well. (Wait, that didn't come out right...not a hit from me, but from their siblings, falling off the playhouse steps, things of that nature). I began to get concerned that by me telling them not to cry all the time, they would bottle everything up inside, which would really be unhealthy for them.
So, I started reinforcing that it's ok to cry if they get hurt, or if they're sad about something. A couple of weeks ago, Reese fell hard on our back deck. Landed right smack dab on her little knees. I braced myself for a howl, but she just hopped up and hobbled on into the house. Fearing that I had ruined her psyche for life, I reminded her, "Sweetheart, that looked like it really hurt. It's ok to cry if you get hurt."
To which she assured me, "It's ok Mommy. My eyelids decide when to cry."
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4 comments:
OK, help! My 3yo is on my last nerve with HOWLS over bumps. Like you I don't mind crying over real pain, but the howling has got to stop. I know it's all dramatics as I've seen much worse without even a flinch.
Hmmmmm, that could be a tough one Heather. For instance, Drue kept falling the other day and howling at every fall. Her last fall was at the park and I had had enough! I said, "I think you need to go to bed early because you must be tired!". Turns out, she had bitten BOTH sides of her tongue when she fell and blood went gushing everywhere! So, of course, I felt horrible.
If she starts howling just to pitch a fit, however, because she doesn't get her way about something, I send her to the "sad step" to cry it out. That way, she's out of the room, not getting attention, etc. She stops pretty quick.
My only suggestion is once you figure out no real damage has been done to your little guy (i.e. no gushing blood from any orifice) give it a quick kiss, then limit the amount of attention you give his "dramatics" after that. Does that make sense?
I may have to think some more on that one....
Ouch, poor baby!
I do the once over for damage, tell him he's fine, quick hug, and send him on his way. My husband on the other hand. . . 6'4" ex-ish body builder (he goes in spurts) and a total softie when it comes to kids and animals.
So yes, I totally and completely blame him for the attention howls.
Just wanted to make sure there was nothing I wasn't doing. I think I might start saying, "Dad's at work, you can stop the dramatics." ;)
I'm right in there with you, girls. When do they grow out of this crying stuff?
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