Tuesday, June 16, 2009


That's my middle name today.

Or maybe I'm not so much oblivious, as I've just been a mom long enough to be able to selectively block out certain behaviors of my offspring.

We picked up Reese from VBS at noon today. There were a few things I HAD to get at Target. What are some examples of these necessary items you ask? (Oh, you didn't ask and you really don't care?) Well, I'm going to share anyway just so everyone can realize the magnitude of importance this errand held for me.

First off, I had to get jelly. I wanted a good old fashioned PB&J sandwich. Not a PB&PB sandwich I was forced to scarf down last night after practice.

Secondly, I needed kid friendly shampoo. Which I will be keeping under lock and key. No, nobody is trying to drink it (that I know of). But these kids can go through an entire bottle of shampoo/conditioner in a few days time! I can't understand it. They are little people...with little heads. And Tate has very little hair on his little head.

So where is all the shampoo going?! I suspect they are pouring it into the bath or shower to make bubbles or are using it to scrub the walls of the tub/shower with. I may never know.

I do know, however, that the past two nights when I've had to use *gasp* Daddy's Pert Plus on their hair, you would have thought I was washing their heads in battery acid. Which I sort of used to my advantage..."Keep your eyes closed while I rinse your hair out or they will fall out of your heads".

Where was I? Oh yeah, a simple trip to Target. Although, outings are anything but simple with my crew.

The noon hour is not conducive to errand running with my 3. Actually, there is only about 1 hour in each day that is conducive to errand running with my 3. That is 9:30am-10:30am. During the noon hour they are all hungry and Tate is getting grouchy. After Tate's nap, however, the girls are getting tired and I'm getting grouchy so I knew this was our only option today.

I still stuff Tate's little skinny patootie into the front of the cart and buckle him in when I have everyone with me. To keep my sanity. And to keep my fellow shoppers safe.

He usually protests to this idea about 15 feet into the store. But he has learned that pitching a fit about it will get him nowhere. So he sweetly and quietly says, "I want to walk" as he gazes forlornly out the side of his cart to the beautiful linoleum floor below.

Which I very sweetly respond back, "Not this time Tate...ooohhhhh look at the picture of that doggie." And his plea is forgotten for the time being.

His other sneaky tactic is sucking his thumb and asking me to hold him and putting on his "snuggle me" face. This one gets to me sometimes and I pluck him out and hold him for 3.2 seconds before he is squirming to get down.

I think I would make a great contestant on that game show where shoppers have to rush through the aisles as fast as they can and load their cart up with the appropriate items. I had to actually stop and read some labels this time though, which I was afraid wasn't going to go over well.

The girls got handsy today with the merchandise. The colorful packages called out to them to touch each one and push it backwards on the shelf. David's time at Target opened all of our eyes up to this type of behavior. Employees spend a lot of time straightening up those shelves and pulling everything neatly to the front. I passed along this information to my two store wreckers.

All the while Tate was sitting quietly and contentedly in his seat. You knew the "oblivious" part was bound to come into play at some point.

I got a few more items and tossed them in the back of the cart. Still oblivious.

Let me wrap this up lest you think my "obliviousness" was something really terrible like me pushing around a cart with someone else's child in it. Which now, having put that in writing, has probably jinxed me to do so at some point.

As we were making our way to the front I happened to glance in the back of the cart. There were my few little items waiting to be purchased. In addition, there were 7 bottles of Pantene shampoo and conditioner and 1 bottle of honey mustard dressing. None of which were on my list to get!

I am not even exaggerating. E-I-G-H-T extra bottles of items that Tate snuck into my cart. I can understand one lone bottle of dressing getting knocked into the cart without me knowing. But why didn't I notice E-I-G-H-T such things being grabbed off the shelves and dropped into my cart?

Again, my former Target employee husbands' face appeared in my head telling me that someone has to go around and place all deserted items back in their proper spot. I almost hollered back that they get paid to do so, but I sheepishly went and returned every bottle back to its' proper location.

On the bright side I had a delicious PB & J sandwich for lunch.

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